Bat-Hime
by Captain Vulcan
Summary: She's the heroine that Gensokyou doesn't needs. And I'm not sure that she is one that it deserves, either...
1. A Bat-Shaped Shadow

It begins…

**DISCLAIMER:** The Touhou Project is a series of vertical-scrolling 'bullet hell' shooters that is created by ZUN of Shanghai Alice. Therefore, he is the owner of the series. The presentation that you're about to read is in no way affiliated with ZUN, Shanghai Alice, and any other publishers of the series' canonical work. This fanfiction is a non-profit piece for entertainment only.

This fanfiction is a parody of Bat-Man/Batman, which was created by Bob Kane and William Finger. The Batman franchise is the property of DC Comics and Warner Bros.

Please support the official works.

**STORY RATING: PG-13/T for Teens **_– _For language, suggested themes, and comic mischief.

**TOUHOU PROJECT**

**Bat-Hime**

**Chapter 1 – A Bat-Shaped Shadow**

_Gensokyou…_

_Home of the Human Village…_

_Home Sweet Home…_

_My town…_

_Gensokyou… a place where all the major incidents happen away from my village. It is protected by a child – the Wonderful Shaman of Paradise: Reimu Hakurei. She is the champion among the land, dispatching any fantastic creature that dared stirred trouble. Thanks to all her efforts over the years, Reimu ascertained that Gensokyou will never face a true threat._

…_Not while on her watch…_

_However, the Hakurei Maiden is oblivious to the malice of her own kind. She didn't know that evil dwells in the Human Village. Even though humans were the minority of Gensokyou, criminal acts happen in my village. We were as troublesome as the youkai when given the chance. Hatred, pessimism, crime… humans are not to be estimated._

_I may not be able to do a thing about the bitterness in the hearts of men, but I can make a stand against crime. Sometimes, when the law wasn't enough… I take it into my own hands. I dared to venture beyond its limits. I enforce my brand of justice…_

…_I instill fear in the hearts of the wicked._

_I am the ghost in the dark._

_I… am… Bat-Hime!_

**SUZUNAAN **

Kosuzu Mottori smoothly glided her hand over an old book. The tome was ancient and it was written in a language unknown to Gensokyou. The ginger-haired bookwork adjusted the reading glasses on her nose and flipped a page. Every book was like an adventure to her. And she smiled in fascination at what she deciphered so far.

"…The golden relic is proof of the goddesses' existence," Kosuzu read, her eyes widening in awe. "It is a source of unfathomable power. If one is worthy enough to obtain the relic… that person will be bestowed with the very power of the Mystic Trinity. It is the power to make any wish come true…"

While the curious youth immersed herself in the theological tale of an unknown realm, the drapes of the entrance parted open. Two visitors entered the bookstore. One of the visitors was small in stature, and the other was tall and shapely. Kosuzu didn't bother to look at them. She knew who they were.

"That sounds like a very interesting book you're reading," Akyuu Hieda said as she approached Kosuzu's desk. "I dare ask if it concerns another culture…"

Kosuzu bookmarked the tome and gently put it aside – the secrets to omnipotence will have to wait. "You could say that," she giggled. "How does obtaining the power over reality sounds to you?"

Akyuu tapped her chin thoughtfully. "That sounds like a truly frightening power, Kosuzu."

"I know, right?" Kosuzu chirped. "I was beginning to think that the book is fictional."

"Is this the reason for you to call us over for a visit, Kosuzu?" Keine sighed, hoping that tonight's visit isn't a waste of time. "Please don't tell us that you wanted to share a fairy tale with us."

"Straight to the point as usual, Miss Kamishirasawa." Kosuzu replied, pulling a newspaper article from the desk drawer. "This… is the reason I wanted you to come over."

Keine was skeptical. "Today's issue of the Bunbunmaru…"

Akyuu observed the article – particularly the photo. It was a hazyphoto of a shadowy humanoid with large bat-like wings. Aya had to be far away from it when she took the snapshot. "The mysterious bat-shaped shadow…"

"Oh-ho! So you do know about it, I take it," Kosuzu said with a glint in her wide eyes.

"Yes," Akyuu nodded. "There were rumors about it that has been going on for three days now. This… bat youkai has been sighted in the village."

Kosuzu tapped her glasses. "Or so they say…"

"No, it's true," said Keine. "A few thieves have been captured by that youkai. They were found bound and gagged in front of the police station the other day."

"And it saved a woman from getting abused by her boyfriend…" Akyuu added. "Along with stopping an arsonist from burning down a restaurant…"

Kosuzu added it up. "So it's a crime fighter…"

Consternation gathered on Keine's face. "Hmm…"

"A crime fighter, you say," another girl said as she entered the bookstore. "Looks like someone is out there trying to knock my hustle…"

Akyuu greeted the girl as she approached them. "Hello Reimu. What brings you here?"

"I'm curious," the shrine maiden had a copy of the article, too. She raised it above her head. "This better not be Remilia…"

"I don't think that's Remilia." Keine wondered. "That person is rather tall."

"Remilia can assume her adult form on the night of a full moon," Reimu countered. "I fought her in that form. She is even more powerful and dozens time more conceited in it, too."

Akyuu heeded the red-white miko's words. "The vampire's hair is short, though." She examined the photo on Kozusu's desk again. "Unlike the hair on this bat-winged mystery…"

"It's another vampire, then," Reimu concluded. "Or a devil…"

"Same difference," Akyuu relayed, much to Reimu's chagrin. "But I doubt a devil would come close to the Human Village – let alone fighting criminals."

Keine crossed her arms with a nod. "You're right about that. Besides, I know for sure that a devil wouldn't get involved in any human affairs."

Reimu pouted. She hated it when someone outsmarts her. "Well regardless of what you say, I think that Koakuma's somehow behind this."

Keine tilted her head curiously. "Are you sure that she's behind this? And even if she is, I'll say that it is pretty generous of Koa to go out of her way to help the village."

Reimu shook her fists. "That means that she attacks humans, then. I can't have that going on. If Koakuma wants to be a hero, then she may as tag along with me during incidents."

Akyuu and Keine gazed at the miko warily. Reimu can be so hard-boiled sometimes.

Then…

Kosuzu started chuckling – darkly.

Akyuu nervously backed away from the desk a bit. "Kosuzu… chan?"

The book enthusiast sudden stood from her chair and slammed her palms on the desk. "Ah hahahaha! Ladies, that is not the little devil from the Scarlet Devil Manor – no ma'am, no how!"

Reimu's eyes turned into checkmarks. "What are you talking about? You know something, don't you?"

The bookkeeper retained her mischievous smile. "A few years ago, I read a tale of a human…" she tilted her glasses again. "It was a tale of a human that suffered a tragedy so great that he eventually became a demon!"

Reimu, Akyuu, and Keine stared at her in an odd way, but said nothing.

Kosuzu continued. "He was a creature of the night – a beast that preys on the wicked! A rumor has it that a bat born from the darkest night made an offer to him. Of course, this offer changed his life forever…"

"What… was the offer?" Akyuu ventured.

"It was the power to fight evil at the expense of his humanity," Kosuzu revealed dramatically. She jumped on top of her desk and assumed a pose. The wide sleeve of her kimono was used like a makeshift cape. "Ufufufufu! He was a terror to criminals everywhere! Even his voice struck fear in their hearts!"

The bookkeeper cleared her throat and proceeded to impersonate a deep male's voice as best as she could. What she said, however, was totally incomprehensible to her guests. The grunts, growls, groans, and gibberish made Kosuzu sound like she needed serious medical attention.

"GRRRAAAAAGGGH-RAAA-RAAARRH-RAAARRH-**RRRRRRRRRRRRRGGH!**"

A book was thrown at her. It hit Kosuzu on the forehead.

**PAP!**

"Oww!"

Akyuu's right arm was extended before her. "Okay, enough of that…" she drawled. "We got the point."

"That was mean, Akyuu-chan," Kosuzu chided, rubbing her forehead. "You're still mad about our game of _hanetsuki_, aren't you?"

"No!" Akyuu blurted out gracelessly. Then she realized that she responded to Kosuzu's jibe a little too pointed. "Uh… no…" she calmly repeated.

Reimu wasn't amused. "So what does the story has to do with anything?"

Keine shared Reimu's sentiments. "Let alone the fact that the story's fictional…"

Kosuzu's enthusiasm returned. "Don't you get it? The bat being isn't a youkai nor devil… it's a human!"

Reimu scoffed. "I believe the incense has gotten to you, Kosuzu. People can get high off of those, you know."

That was news to Kosuzu. "Really? So that means the rabbits that I saw in here the other day weren't real?"

"Nope," deadpanned Reimu. "Figure of your stoned imagination, I'm afraid…"

Kosuzu's confusion grew more apparent. Her cute face looked like it aged a year or two. "So… Marisa isn't a redhead, is she?"

"She never was a redhead to begin with," shrugged Reimu.

"Gosh…" the bookkeeper said with a hint of disappointment. "I could have sworn that Marisa-chan had red hair once. In fact, she would probably look cuter with red hair."

Akyuu threw another book at Kosuzu, and this time the poor girl was knocked off the desk.

**BLOOMP!**

"I'm okay…" Kosuzu grunted.

"So… do you think we should look into this… bat situation?" Akyuu wondered. "Personally, I don't have a problem with it. I think it's benevolent."

Keine pursed her lips. "I'm not sure, though. But I do think the village could use another guardian besides me and Moukou. Sure, we can benefit from the bat's help but the way it enforces justice is a bit too… brutal."

Reimu clicked her tongue. "Tch – that's all the more reason to investigate it." She turned on her heels. "With that in mind, maybe I should stop by Muugenkan for a visit. I wonder if Yuuka still have that vampire living with her."

Both the teacher and savant flinched at the mention of that name. Even Yukari and the Moriya gods knew not to piss off the Floral Master of the Four Seasons. Any sane person would rather play with Flandre while on a sugar high – or challenge an oni in slap-boxing. But they had faith in Reimu. The shrine maiden's bravery (and insanity) was legendary.

Besides, everyone loves a crazy girl – if she's cute, that is.

"Good luck," said Keine.

"I wish you a safe investigation," Akyuu added.

"Nah, I don't need it," Reimu waved off dismissively. "I'll take care of this little bat problem with no problem at all."

After the red-white miko left the store, Kosuzu said "She's the heroine that Gensokyou deserves…"

A paperback whizzed by her head.

"Ha! You missed," the bookworm laughed. "Let's not stand on ceremony here… Miss Hieda."

Keine sighed and suddenly grabbed both girls by their ears. It couldn't be helped. Children will be… children.

"Oww!" Kosuzu squealed.

"Stop it!" Akyuu whined. "That hurts!"

Keine ignored their cries. "Please behave yourselves. And yes, this hurts me more than it does you."

**HUMAN VILLAGE – Outskirts**

Minoriko trailed behind her sister, despondent. She wanted to break down into tears right now. She was robbed by a group of thieves while she was closing her vegetable stand. While the robbery happened, her elder sister was searching for leaves to paint in the village (or men to flirt with). Fortunately for the harvest goddess, the bandits didn't harm her. They've bound her to a deciduous tree instead. Incidentally, such trees are the sole reason for Shizuha's visit this evening.

"This is not fair," Minoriko whined, dragging her feet. "Why me? They've stolen all of my produce. Do Mystia ever have to go through this?"

"Unwind yourself," Shizuha said with a twirl. "At least they didn't hurt you. So be thankful that you're still in one piece, kiddo."

"Don't call me that!" Minoriko cried. "It makes me think that you're looking down own me!"

The elder Aki ceased her dance and gave Minoriko a happy smile. "Aww… why would I look down on you, my dear baby sister? I'm just glad that you're safe and sound. Things could have been worse, you know."

Minoriko noticed something peculiar about Shizuha's behavior. "Y-you're awfully optimistic this evening? Did you find yourself a boyfriend in the village?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," the jaundiced jessabelle replied.

Minoriko wasn't buying it. "Uh… huh…"

"I am joyful because it is a beautiful night," Shizuha declared. "The wind is howling, leaves are scattered over this road, and the storm clouds block out the sight of the moon. I love it!"

Minoriko began sobbing. "They must pay! If only I knew where to find those scumbags!"

"Then allow me to find them for you," a disembodied voice grunted. "I will carry out your vengeance for you…"

Minoriko sniffed. "What…?"

"I know the people who robbed you," the voice continued.

Shizuha pointed to a nearby tree. "Up there!"

The divine siblings beheld a woman dressed in all black high up in a tree. She wore a pointed mask on her face and her long red hair billowed with the wind. "They're rejected youkai hunters and repeat offender…" the obsidian stranger said. "They've committed a number of crimes from food stand theft, stealing donation money, and unpaid bills for overdue books at the local library."

Minoriko grew confused. "…Huh?"

"Who are you?" Shizuha wondered.

The black clad stranger hopped out of the tree and fell gracelessly in a pile of leaves.

"Urgh," the stranger groaned.

Shizuha was already standing over the mystery woman. "Ooh, are you okay? That looks like it hurt."

The masked redhead held out her hand and allowed Shizuha to help her back on her feet. She was rather tall – taller than Minoriko, even. And she was as endowed as the younger goddess, much to Shizuha's chagrin. The black kimono the stranger wore fitted her like a sock, and the embroiled bat insignia on her chest was slightly stretched due to her large breasts. The silly getup contained an amazing body in it.

Shizuha eyes were flat. "Kinda makes me want to become a lesbian…"

"What?" Minoriko and the masked woman said simultaneously.

The leaf goddess' baby face became even cuter. "Ohh… nothing," she remarked nonchalantly. "Anyway, who are you?"

"I'm Bat-Hime," the redhead said. Thunder rumbled in the skies after she reveal herself. "And I will serve justice to the ones who wronged you."

Shizuha grinned, placing her hands on her svelte hips. "This should be interesting…"

**BAM!**

**POW!**

**KERSPLAT!**

**END OF CHAPTER **

_**JAN 6, 2013**_

_I couldn't help it. This idea had been in my head since last spring. I always wondered what it would be like if there was a vigilante in Gensokyou – specifically the Human Village. I'm a fan of Touhou, fan of Batman – so why not?_

_Got a few super villains in mind, but I may take requests._

_Even though I didn't originally intend to include Kosuzu, writing her is pretty fun. Besides, she's a tad familiar with the legend of the Batman – although, the tale she told was as laughable as PMiSS._

_Akyuu: "HEY!"_

_Oh well. Happy New Years, dudes and dudettes! 2012 came and went, and we're still kickin' it._

_On another note, Mystic Trinity was the name of a Zelda fic I've scrapped a few years back (circa… 2007). I dunno… it was something about Link being a pirate… a feared pirate named Captain James Falcon… a tsudere Zelda… and stuff._

_Hanetsuki is a sort of a badminton game, played by girls during New Years. It requires marking the face of the loser with a calligraphy brush, I think. It's definitely a lot more graceful than women's mudwrestling, I tell ya._

_Post your comments and suggestions, readers. And chill…_

_Till the next episode!_


	2. Shadow Searching

Kickin' evildoers off the streets…

**TOUHOU PROJECT**

**Bat-Hime**

**Chapter 2 – Shadow Searching**

"So you know where to find the guys who hijacked Minoriko, huh?" Shizuha said, preening her hair as the cool wind intensified. "Well, that's good to know. Maybe she'll stop whining like a newborn if you get em."

"I'm not whining!" Minoriko whined.

"Of course not," Shizuha deadpanned. "It was only a figure of speech. You're actually crying like a little bitch."

"Don't you start with me," Minoriko growled. "I can fill a book on how often you cry yourself to sleep at night."

Shizuha didn't like that. "Oh yea? How bout that night I caught you touching yourself while saying that Moriya godling's name, huh?" She went on to impersonate Minoriko's nasal voice by holding her nose. "'Ooh~! Sanae! Sa-na-eh! SA-NA-EEEEH~!'"

Minoriko gasped. "Wait, how do you know- I mean, don't get me started on that mouse phobia of yours. You almost strangled Hina to death during her last visit."

"Hey, if a mouse hops on your lap out of nowhere you'll freak out, too!" Shizuha retorted.

"You knocked out Nazrin!"

"Those ears of hers give me the creeps!"

Bat-Hime tilted her head. "Uh…"

The Akis continued their bickering. "Argh! You're such an embarrassment, Minoriko! How come you don't behave as mature as you look, huh?" Shizuha complained.

"You're the one embarrassing me!" Minoriko shot back. "I'm supposed to look up to you, for Autumn's sake! Some role model you are!"

Shizuha raised her hand threateningly. "You take that back before I slap you, Minoriko!"

"Ladies…" Bat-Hime said.

"C'mon then! Go ahead and slap me and see what happens," Minoriko challenged. "We're not kids anymore, Big Sister! I'm bigger than you now!"

Shizuha feint a punch and Minoriko flinched. "Humph, I thought so. You're never big enough for me to whoop your butt." Shizuha said.

Minoriko's mouth wriggled. "You're so aggravating!"

The Bat-Hime twirl on her boots and dismissed herself from the bickering siblings. She was glad that she was the only child. As cute as it was, the vigilante didn't have time to watch them arguing with each other. There were criminals out there that needs to be brought to justice. And Bat-Hime promised that she will retrieve Minoriko's stolen produce. She will carry out the goddess' vengeance on those that wronged her.

After the redhead left the scene, the goddesses realized that she was absent. "Where did she go?" Shizuha wondered.

Minoriko crossed her arms. "I guess she got tired of you yammering like a chipmunk."

"Hey! I do not sound like a chipmunk!" Shizuha retorted.

The younger sister rolled her eyes. "Pfft… and I'm Betty Rubble."

A grin claimed the leaf goddess' face. "Well, you do walk around the place barefooted. Be thankful that there aren't any sandspurs in Gensokyou."

"Shizuha, what in the world are those?" Minoriko grunted.

Shizuha's grin grew and she applied a little non-canonical trick near her sister's feet. Wriggling her fingers like some sort of genie, the elder laughed. "I'm done here."

Minoriko was imposed by a large question mark above her head. "What did you do?"

The smaller woman sauntered back on the path towards the Youkai Mountains. "Oh… nothing," she said dismissively. "But I'll watch my step if I were you."

Minoriko stepped forward. "You're up to some- OWW!"

Shizuha burst into a sprint while laughing.

The harvest deity winced as she raised her left leg. Gasping in shock, she saw several tiny pinpricks embedded under her foot. "Argh! What the hell are these!?"

Shizuha's mirth could be heard several yards away. "They're the answer to your question!"

"I'm going to fuc- EEEEH!" Minoriko made the mistake of stepping in more sandspurs. "I'm going to murder you, Shizuha!"

**GARDEN OF THE SUN **

Reimu arrived at her destination. She was intent on discovering the identity of the bat-winged mystery. While traveling a path through sunflowers, the young woman couldn't help but to notice the creepy contrast between the bright plants and the dark skies. Seeing such flowers in such a gloomy setting unsettled her. As a matter of fact, it was the middle of autumn… the sunflowers shouldn't be in full bloom in the first place. That what made the scenery looked even more menacing.

Thunder rumbled in the sky. A storm was on the way. It was either that or Suwako had managed to piss off Kanako again. Reimu had to make this quick. She didn't want to be rain-soaked again. Her outfit was so flimsy that it leaves little to one's imagination when soaking wet. Marisa once commented that Reimu's form was practically laid bare after she was caught in a thundershower.

Disregarding the embarrassing memory, Reimu approached a large Western-styled mansion and knocked the front door. It was a large, impressive structure with three stories. Although, not as… macabre as the Scarlet Devil Manor, Mugenkan looks more like a grandiose house rather than a castle. It was a nice-looking place but it still had a spooky ambience about it. For one thing, it was the abode of the notorious Yuuka Kazami – Floral Mistress of the Four Seasons. Yuuka was quite possibly the single most dangerous creature in the entire world.

Second, there's always a risk involved when visiting her. While Yuuka is… initially a nice person, there's always an off chance of making her angry. She is a creature of emotion, after all. One wrong move and one can say goodbye to their limbs. She was the last person in Gensokyou that anyone should trifle with.

Reimu knew better, though. She too, didn't want to get on the flower master's bad side. But she was here on investigative business. Fear negates progress, and without progress she will never get down to the bottom of this mystery. Strengthening her resolve, Reimu knocked on the large red door.

**KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK!**

"Just a moment," a pleasant voice said. "I'll be right with you!"

Reimu made a face and began tapping her foot after a few minutes. _Sheesh, I thought she said she'll be here in a moment._

Then the door slowly opened, revealing an adorably cute girl that was half Reimu's size. "Ah, welcome back-" realizing the evening's visitor, the girl gave Reimu the skunk-eyes. Even that mean-mug of hers couldn't keep her from looking cute. "No visitors," she said coldly.

And she slammed the door.

_I know damn well that she- _"Open the door, Medicine!" Reimu demanded, blushing indignantly.

The lilt in the youkai doll's voice was gone – replaced by a dark tone. "I said, NO VISITORS!"

"I'm here to talk to Yuuka, Medicine!" Reimu explained, gripping the doorknob. "It's important!"

"Go away, Human…" Medicine remarked.

Reimu didn't appreciate the doll's resentment. Disregarding decency (she was wearing a short skirt), Reimu raised her leg on the door and began pulling on it. "Don't you play with me, you little shi- OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!"

"You're not welcomed here!" Medicine shouted.

"You open this mother-lovin' door RIGHT NOW!" Reimu hollered. "If you don't, I swear that I will tear down this door!"

"You wouldn't dare…"

"Try me," contested Reimu.

"Arrogant Human…" Medicine's voice was laden with disgust now. "Are you trying to invoke Yuuka's anger? Insanity."

"I survived her wrath before and I can do it again."

"Lightning doesn't strike in the same place twice," retorted the venomous doll. "Yuuka fought you while she was half-asleep and during the Flower Viewing incident, she fought on your terms. She faced you while using your very own funky-ass Spell Card rules."

"Medicine – please…" Reimu released the door handle, pleading. "I must have a word with Yuuka. I'm not here to confront any of you. Listen, I'll even put down my weapons…"

Medicine heard the miko's words, but she wasn't convinced by them. Humans were potentially malevolent. They couldn't be trusted. "I don't believe you."

Two soft thuds were heard from outside the door.

The poisonous doll hissed. "You take me for a fool, Human. I know that you're lying."

"I swear on the blood of my ancestors and everything that I love that I'm not here to fight you." Reimu said solemnly. "If I am lying, then I will resign my duties as a Hakurei Shrine maiden. May the Great Boundary vanish forever – with Gensokyou being subject to the whims of the mysterious Beyond."

Medicine's grey eyes were mark by an unreadable expression. "Noble words… but how do I know whether or not that you're being sincere?"

"There's only one way to find out," said Reimu. "Open the door and see for yourself."

Medicine was about to say something cynic, but a debonair voice intercepted her remark. "Let her in, Medicine. The gal's laid her heart bare."

The living doll turned to the beautiful green-haired owner of the mansion. "Yuuka, are you sure about this?"

"As sure as ah tigah bearin' stripes, lil' missy," said Yuuka as she descended a flight of stairs. "Now, open the door fo' her."

Medicine pouted but she reluctantly did what she was told. To her immense surprise, all of Reimu's ofuda, gohei, and both of the Yin-Yang Orbs were at her feet. "Unbelievable… You weren't lying after all."

Reimu bowed. "Thank you."

Yuuka smiled, twirling her pink parasol. "So, Reimu, to what do we owe the pleasure of tonight's visit? Bring yo' lil pretty self in here and make yo'self comfortable. Would ya like to talk ovah hot tea? Ah promise to keep Medicine away from our drinks."

Reimu stepped inside the den. "Much appreciated."

**HIEDA MANSION**

The tapping of the koi pond's bamboo filter was a soothing sound. It allowed Keine to relax while she meditated. The teacher appreciated the peaceful ambiance that the mansion provided. The school had it fair share of noises, such as children and the more talkative members of the faculty. The Human Village was noisy, too. It was especially rambunctious during the harvest. And last, but not least, it was even difficult for her to sleep in the comfort of her own home sometimes. There were many nights that Keine resorted to throwing books (and kitchen utensils) at stray cats and dogs.

The _hanyou_ exhaled – relinquishing stress from her body and mind. Keine can count on meditation to ease her psyche and she was getting better at it. She was still young and healthy, but she knew that the signs of aging were taking a toll on her. Even if she is a hybrid, Keine was not immune to the influence of time. While it's true that she is getting wiser as she grew older, her body may not exactly get the same benefits as her mind. She had no doubts about that. There were times when she lacked energy during classes. She had to drink a cup of ginseng tea on such occasion.

Other times, Keine often felt that it wasn't worth getting out of bed in the morning. It seems that a good night sleep isn't enough sometimes. More to that, the poor teacher was gaining weight. The last time she stepped on a scale she nearly hit the roof. She eats healthy meals and exercise regularly. What was the deal?

It was simple, really – she was going through a middle-age crisis.

Keine sighed. She glided her hand over her stomach. While her midsection is still (relatively) flat she did underwent a 'matronly' spread. True, it did worked wonders on her figure; she knew that she had to be more careful with her weight. It was a sign of lowered metabolism. That meant that she had to be doubly diligent with her health management.

_Goodness… my weight has been up-and-down lately, _Keine thought. _Not surprising that some people actually think that I'm a mother. _A flourish of pink crept along her cheeks. _But I guess it would be nice to have children…_

The hanyou giggled. A certain shopkeeper appeared in her thoughts. But before she can indulge in daydreaming about the said merchant…

"Miss Keine," Akyuu appeared from her study with curious eyes. "You're giggling. What's so funny?"

Keine composed herself, blushing. "Oh! It's nothing. I was just meditating."

The chronicler tilted her head. "While giggling like a schoolgirl?"

Kosuzu appeared as well. "I heard giggling, too."

Keine shook her head, dropping the prospect of being a mother in the future. "Good grief – if only people would pay close attention to school lessons like that."

"That was harsh," said Akyuu.

"Sometimes, you have to be cruel to be kind," Kosuzu quoted.

"I'm not a cynic but what Kosuzu said is true," Keine stood up and brushed her dress. "Moving on, have you learned anything about the mysterious shadow?"

"No," Akyuu answered. "But a friend of mine claimed that she had seen the bat person recently."

That statement piqued Keine's interests. "Who?"

The savant and bookkeeper stepped aside as an older girl appeared on the veranda. Keine recognized the brunette in the white kimono. "It's me," she bowed. "I've encountered the bat being the other night."

The hanyou looked the chignon-haired woman in the eyes. "Miss Harada… tell me everything that you know."

**FOREST – Village Outskirts**

_The crooks that robbed the harvest goddess…_

_They've ran like hell after that offense. _

_Their hideout was an abandoned temple in a forested area just beyond the village. They were a bold bunch…_

_But boldness can only take them so far._

_I have cornered them. They're my targets now_

_The goons had no idea of how much trouble they're in._

_May Minoriko's wrath guide me in bringing justice to them…_

The Bat-Hime leapt from a tree and crouched behind a large _tanuki_ statue. She took the opportunity to observe her new adversaries sanctuary. They place they chose was a well-hidden spot. It was an old derelict temple that was closer to the Youkai Mountain than the Human Village. And judging from the few large crates just outside the building, the criminals was using it as a warehouse as well. They probably had enough stolen goods to last them for years.

The vigilante had a feeling that they've been living in the forest for several months. They couldn't have made the temple their makeshift hideout overnight.

The masked redhead snuck closer to the warehouse, careful not to get herself spotted. There weren't any sentries around but she couldn't afford to take any chances. Failure could be fatal. She had to do the deed undetected. It'll make things easier for her.

The dark heroine moved quickly in a crouched jog, using the scenery for cover. She hid behind a large crate, waiting. Being a vigilante often requires taking chances and using the element of surprise. The redhead was counting on someone to come out the temple by now – even if it were for a breath of fresh air. She remained in her hiding spot. Waiting…

Waiting for her prey to show up…

And then…

"Man, oh man…" a heavyset young man grunted as he appeared. "I really hafta take a leak. This old building shoulda have a shithouse or something…"

The young man rounded the temple, looking for a place to take care of his business.

Opportunity presented itself. The Bat-Hime surveyed the youth as she trailed him. He was a fairly large man – twice her size. The hoodlum wore dark brown trousers and a long light blue _haori. _He was overweight, but not obese. That meant that Bat-Hime had to be careful when it comes to dealing with an opponent of his size. She will have to take him by surprise to quickly dispatch him.

"Ahhh…" the thick man was pissing on a tree stomp now. "Drank a lot of grape juice earlier."

Bat-HiME closed in on the unsuspecting man lick a wildcat. The moment he was done with his leakage, he turned around and was met by an unforgiving spinning back kick to his face.

**WA-PAK!**

"Ugh," the man stumbled backwards in pain and his head met a tree.

**THUNK!**

He went down – out cold.

_That takes care of him; _Bat-Hime dusted her gauntlet-clad hands in satisfaction. _Now to put him somewhere so no one finds him._

The redhead proceeded to get the unconscious hooligan off the ground. It took her a few moments, but she managed to heft him up in a fireman's carry. She carried him several yards from the hideout's vicinity and tied him up to the _tanuki_ statue down the path. With all the trees in the way, it was highly unlikely that his comrades would see him should they step outside the temple.

Suddenly, the big man stirred. "W-wha…"

Bat-Hime took out a small canister from her obi and sprayed him with knockout gas. The thug drifted off to dream land.

"Sorry, big boy…" Bat-Hime raised a finger to her lips with a wink. "…But I need you to take a nap for a little while longer."

One down.

Now it was time to take care of the rest of them.

**MUGENKAN**

A cup of warm tea was set before Reimu on the table. Even though the drink was a sign of Yuuka's hospitality, the shrine maiden couldn't help but to be wary of it. Medicine was staring daggers at her. Reimu didn't like it one bit.

"What's wrong, darlin'?" Yuuka asked her. "Why so tense? Ah told ya that Ah will keep Medicine away from the drinks. Unwind yo'self. You'll mess up that pretty face o' yours if ya don't."

Medicine continued to stare at Reimu, a slight smirk arching her lips.

"I can't help but to feel unsettled by her glare," Reimu indicated to Medicine. "With the way she's looking at me, I can't help but to think that she poisoned my drink."

Yuuka's brows rose. "Is that a fact?" She directed her gaze at the cruel doll. "Medicine, please stop mean-muggin' our guest. That's real uncivil of ya, m'dear."

Medicine pouted. "Keh, if you say so. However, that does not stop me from imagining her consuming Liquid Death from that teacup in front of her." A sinister smile claimed her cute face. "I can see it now; her coughing, gagging, and writhing her final moments as the venom destroys her from within."

Reimu pushed the teacup away from her. "I'm sorry, Yuuka – but, no thanks."

The floral youkai closed her eyes. "Ah apologize fo' Medicine's… apparent foolishness."

"HEY!" Medicine snapped.

"Movin' on to mo' important mattahs; I understand that yo'ah here t'see me," Yuuka said breezily. "How can Ah help you, Miss Hakurei?"

"I'm looking for Kurumi," Reimu said without hesitation.

An unreadable expression visited Yuuka's face. "Umm-hmm… that's interestin'. What for?"

"There were reports of a mysterious person fighting thieves in the Human Village." Reimu explained, popping her fingers. "This person has been described as a female with long hair… and sporting a pair of bat wings."

"What does that have to do with her?" Medicine spat. "To think that you're dumb enough t-"

"Enuff, Medicine…"

"But Yuuka – don't tell me that you believe that bullsh-"

"Ah said enuff, Medicine!" Yuuka blustered, causing the doll youkai to fall out her chair. "Yo're outta line! One mo' outburst like that an Ah'll send ya to that creepy loner puppeteer of the Magic Forest in a gift wrapped box!"

"Eek!" Medicine clamored.

"Ahem…" Yuuka clasped her hands together and rests them on the table. "Please continue."

"Much appreciated," Reimu coughed into her fist. "As I was saying, Kurumi is suspect and it is imperative that I see her."

Yuuka smiled – a very lovely gesture. "Ah see… a bat lady done spook up a few humans and now yo're off to rough up my Kurumi? That is wha'cha sayin', right?"

Reimu twirled her sidelocks nervously. "Well – technically…"

"Yo've just missed her then," Yuuka revealed. "She took her hot lil' bat ass off to the Lake O' Blood. It's her… place of Zen, as she calls it."

Reimu nodded her head. "I see."

"Careful, Reimu," Yuuka's smile became devilish as she leaned forward – her impressive bosom spreading on the table. "Kurumi's in a pissy mood. And y'know how troublesome they can be when they're goin' thru a funk. Wouldn't want any of you cuties gettin' yo'selves hurt…"

"I'm well aware of the risks," said Reimu.

"Ya sure bout that?" Yuuka challenged. "That gal's gotten a lot stronger since you last fought her. Ah'll even say that she's mo' powerful than that blue-haired brat now. Ah would hate t'see yo five-six quarts added to that lake, Reimu."

Reimu rose from her chair. "Thank you for your concern, Yuuka. I must get going now." Before the shrine maiden left the mansion, something occurred to her. She whipped her attention back at Yuuka. "Hey, maybe I shouldn't bother asking, but where's Elly? I usually see her around during visits."

Footsteps patted on the den's staircase and a strong presence was felt. "Here…"

Yuuka in hindsight, hummed "Umm – speak of the devil…"

The mansion's sentry was standing on the spiraled stairs, seemingly tired. And she was not wearing her usual flowing pink dress and hat. Instead, the golden-eyed youkai was in her skivvies – a black camisole and pink boxers. Yet, what surprised Reimu the most was the small scar across her cheek and bruise on her left shoulder.

Her arm was in a cask as well.

Medicine seemed surprised to see the blonde gatekeeper. "Elly…"

"What happened to you?" Reimu wondered.

"Kurumi and I got into it recently," Elly replied reluctantly. "But… before I knew it, she managed to pull off an upset."

Reimu's brows were checkmarks. "An upset?"

"It is exactly what it is…" Elly slowly descended to the end of the stairs. "She gets in one of her moods and she challenges me from time to time. Thing is, she has never won a fight against me before. Ever."

"Ufufufu…" Yuuka grinned. "Someone's crabby."

"Doesn't she have reason to be?" Medicine said. "I never would have thought that Kurumi can win against Elly."

"Ahhh, but that's the thing, Medicine," Yuuka clicked her tongue. "This is Gensokyou, darlin'. Can't jus' go around thinkin' that yo're the biggest baddest bitch on the block. Anyone can be touched." She returned her view on Elly. "My Elly learned the hard way."

Elly sighed. She knew her mistress was telling the truth. Never in her wildest nightmares that she thought that she could be defeated by a mere vampire – especially Kurumi. Despite her strength and status consciousness, the vampire's unexpected victory was a severe blow on her pride. The injuries from said vampire may as well be an insult to her.

The sentry closed her eyes. "After all these years, I finally realize a cause to my ignorance."

"That failure isn't fatal," Yuuka chimed. "Kurumi's stronger than you now."

Elly bit her bottom lip – hard. Blood dribbled from it.

"That just means yo gonna hafta up the ante, Kurumi. It's not like she's outta yo' league, darlin'."

Elly's eyes snapped open. "But-!"

"Yo'ers is pretty nice and shapely, don't cha think?" Yuuka winked. "That behind on you is shaped like a peach."

The gate guard blushed. "You're embarrassing me!"

"Reimu rolled her eyes. Yuuka was hitting on her subordinate again. "Yea… we're done here." She turned on her sandaled feet and made her way out. "Thanks for the hospitality, Yuuka."

"Yo're still goin' to see her, aren't ya?" Yuuka said.

With the front door partially opened, Reimu turned to regard the green-haired super youkai once more. "Do I have a choice?"

"Yes, you do," Yuuka stated seriously. "Maybe she's ain't the one yo're lookin' for."

Reimu… smiled. "Can't afford to hurt my chances now, can I?"

Yuuka sighed and leaned back in her seat. "Suit yo'self. Carry on."

The young miko gave a courteous bow and departed the mansion. Then Medicine scoffed, pounding her hands on the table. "Ugh. What an arrogant human. Who does she think she is?"

Yuuka closed her eyes. "Someone… that still has much t'learn bout humility…" She opened her eyes and gazed at her troubled daughter-figure. "Ain't that right, Kurumi?"

The sentry didn't say a word. She lowered her head and returned upstairs.

**BAM!**

**POW!**

**KERSPLAT!**

**END OF CHAPTER**

_**FEB 11, 2013**_

_Cheers for exposition. We'll see what Reimu and the Bat-Hime get themselves into in the next episode. I kinda feel bad for having Elly getting her ass handed to her by Kurumi, though..._

_And I'm in love with Yuuka all over again. Debonair, civilized Yuuka is the best Yuuka. Plus, the Southern Belle accent fits her like a glove, IMO. At least I've managed to differentiate her from the usual, more popular depictions of her in fanfics. So it's all good._

_So chill..._

_Till the next episode!_


End file.
